Let's Climb the Ladder

This week we talked about the different, necessary, steps that must be taken when getting ready for marriage. I never realized how vital each specific step was and I have to admit that I'm guilty of not officially taking each specific step instead of just sliding into each one. I think that especially here, courtship and engagement are often mingled with each other. I know mostly all of my friends who have been married talked about marriage and when they were getting engaged, the date and everything while they were still in the courtship stage. Something that fascinated me was the importance of a honeymoon and how it needs to be focused on the couple and it shouldn't be centered around visiting family, etc. That's when the couple establishes themselves as a couple. Super interesting!

Love at first sight

There are 4 types of love. Agape (general/genuine love, like charity), eros (lust, desire, physical, romantic), philia (love for friends, brotherly love), and storge (parent to child relationship, commitment, responsibility). It amazes me at how screwed up society pictures real life. In the movies the eros side of love is always the driving contribution and it often leads to immoral behavior but after studying these different types of love, I realized how you need all of them equally in a spouse relationship. Looking at my parents' relationship, I can tell how they have all 4 types of love for each other and how they show that in different ways, whether it be acting like teenagers and being obnoxious about PDA or giving themselves whole-heartily to each other.

We also learned about misattribution of emotion when we confuse or physical response for someone when the response is actually from something from our surroundings. I thought this was especially interesting because it made me think of how the brethren have warned us not to go to the temple with someone we are dating because we misinterpret the spirit with confirmation of the relationship. I LOVE THE CHURCH. It is just so smart! It is so important to be aware of these things because if we don't, we can falsly think we are having a reaction to the guy instead of the situation. Very important stuff.

Why are girls such girls?!

This past week, we talked about the influence that gender plays in the family. I think it is easy to psychoanalyze everything about our lives and I also believe that our families are divine and our families are the most vital parts of our lives. I'm not saying that Heavenly Father screwed up with some families but if something different were to have happened with the families we have, we wouldn't know the difference and humans adapt to whatever situation they are in. Adaptation is necessary in life and without that attribute, mankind would fail... miserably. There are different genders in families for a reason and because of those influences, we turn out the way we are. We are all different and that's the beauty about every soul.

We also talked about homosexual relations and if they are from God or genetics, etc. I know that there are homosexuals around me and on the media but I have not been influenced by one immediately. None of my family member are homosexual and I've never had a really close friend "come out of the closet" so to be honest, my temper for homosexuals is not grand by any means. I usually have a short temper when it comes to people who are homosexual and people who are in support of that kind of behavior. I understand that it is a very real thing that people have to deal with but there is a difference between having those inclinations and acting upon them. I believe that having homosexual inclinations is honestly just a temptation that Satan has put on the earth. It was not part of premortal life nor will it be part of life after death. It is something that must be mastered by people who have that problem. It is just like being addicted to alcohol or any other inclination people might have. The sin is only in the action. We have agency to experience the "natural man" and overcome sin. Discussing this in class was a testimony to me how divine families are and having a strong family relationship that is in the order of Heavenly Father protects us from many infirmities.  Brother Williams mentioned how guys who consider themselves "gay"  had lousy relationships with their fathers and they also had sexual encounters at the average age of 12.7. Protecting families should  be the most important thing in our lives.

Perhaps I'm a little shallow...

In class we discussed what a family could go through to immigrate to the United States. There has been a lot of hype about this in the news where Obama wants to legalize all illegal immigrants and when I first heard it, I was appalled. I got so angry. I thought Obama was the dumbest, most destructive person (which I still think he is) because of how unconstitutional he was being. The whole point of an illegal immigrant is just that, they're ILLEGAL! But class opened my eyes. I had never realized how hard it was to move here, let alone just crossing the boarder. It really can be a nightmare of an experience and corrupt a family. I'm not saying that we should allow anyone to just become a citizen without any form or documentation, but I do think that it should be easier and less expensive. I have never witnessed an experience for an immigrant family first hand like that, I always thought that they should just stay out and make the best out of their lives whenever they lived before but if i were in their shoes, I think, or at least hope, that I would want to live in the country that has the best education and free life where I can reach my potential and have the best possible life. I'll be honest that whenever I saw an immigrant, my immediate reaction was extremely negative but I hope that because of this, I will be much more merciful and understanding because their life is probably a lot harder than I realize and I know for a fact that it's harder than mine is.

It is because of the way it is

Before this week, I just thought things were the way they are just because that's how they are! It was so fascinating learning about the "unspoken rules" that each family has but what I thought was even more fascinating was discovering how that has changed me. For example, in my household, no one can touch the thermostat except for my dad. If you do, there will be loud words spoken. The reason is, is because he's an efficient freak! He is by far the most efficient person I know. He still clips coupons... COUPONS! Anyways, he would set the thermostat so that it wouldn't go off during the day when no one was home or at night when people were sleeping so if we changed his settings, he would flip a lid. But I can see how that one attribute has made me a million times as cost and energy efficient. It's so interesting to examine your life and see how certain aspects have influenced you in different ways. Another family rule was that my parents didn't care what time you went to bed, but you had to get yourself up and ready for school on your own. Most the time my mother wouldn't even be awake before I left, but that taught me responsibility.

We also talked about how particular people have particular roles and if people break that role, the family falls apart and is in confusion until it's settled. I think humans have a natural instinct that just naturally copes under pressure when things are changed so I haven't even realized the roles my family members have until today! It's mind boggling!!!! Super cool.

Ok fellas, here's the deal... I've never blogged before and to be honest I've never wanted to. But, after creating my super cute page, I got way excited! So now for all my of my super insightful ideas and thoughts (as if people want to hear).

I feel kind of silly taking a family relations class because I am an accounting major but it has become my favorite class! It's something that I can actually get passionate about (who would've thought tax accounting is the most boring thing on the face of the earth?) The things we talk about in class have weighed heavily on my mind for quite a while. I just think that society is starting to seriously suck. It's like everyone is so sad and everyone has all these weird diseases and all we hear about on the news is crimes and murders and super sad things... WHERE ARE THE HAPPY PEOPLE?! I don't think it's a coincidence that there is a rise in all of these things at the same time that society is dismissing the importance of the family.

People don't realize how much marriage effects not only them and their family, but also the entire community and world. Back in the olden days when people got married, they promised to their spouse and their community and that shaped their relationship. Not only would that couple work hard and try to stay together for themselves, but the community was, on a level, obligated to do everything they could for that couple. Now, we don't even need a reason to divorce someone and I think it's starting to show in relationships and psychological attributes in society.

Thinking about how life is for 99% of the rest of the world, I get overwhelmed thinking about how incredibly blessed I am! Why in the world did I get so lucky to learn early on about the importance and eternal perspective that families have? What did I do in order to have my life instead of my neighbor's who shouts at their husband so loud at nights that I can hear it as I lay down for bed? All I can say is that at the rate things are going now, the second coming can come any day now and I'd be ok with it.

Til next time, Kate.